Some sixty percent of Americans are personally affected by adoption, meaning they themselves, a family member, or a close friend was adopted, had adopted a child, or had placed a child for adoption. Reform in adoption laws, therefore, will have wide-ranging impact on the majority of the American population. Yet, there must be reform, because children who have been needlessly placed in adoptive homes are suffering...
The wound that adoption inflicts upon the adoptee is one that can scarcely be overstated and is frequently described as "primal" in psychological research. It is a wound that must not be inflicted as a quick remedy any longer.
The lot of a birth mother who surrenders her child to adoption is a psychologically brutal one. The surrendering birth mother will likely experience incredible lifelong pain and guilt...
L. Anne Babb from the North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC), expresses concern over the motives and parenting skills in those choosing to adopt after facing infertility:
"The adoption decree gives many of us something that science, technology, and God didn't give us: "all the rights, duties, and other legal consequences of the natural relation of parent and child." Now we enjoy the consequences of being naturally related. Which is why we adoptive parents go around telling everyone how inappropriate it is to use the words "natural mother" and "natural father." By implication, that language makes us unnatural. And wrong-headed adoptive parents don't want any of the contrived aspects of their relationships with their adopted children pointed out to them….
A 1989 study about the perceptions of parenting after infertility found that infertility is a life crisis of such major importance that it can and often does cause subsequent parenting problems and disruptions in family-child relationships and development... The study found that half the biological parents were conscientious and secure parents, compared with only 20 percent of infertile adoptive parents... Half of the infertility-treated families, but none of the fertile families, reported problems in bonding with their children... The influence of that type of adoptive parent is destructive to the adopted child growing up, and the influence continues to be destructive on a small scale and a large one."
"Adoptive parents are deprived people. Almost all of them have experienced the pain of infertility or inability to bear a live child. They have gone through much disappointment, waiting and uncertainty, all experiences which tend to reduce people’s confidence and self-esteem. When they first acquire a baby their natural instinct is to salve their wounded feelings by denying any difference between the two kinds of parenthood, yet they also have to live with the fear of losing the child up till the time of legal adoption."
For adoptive couples, adoption is wonderful. For the natural mothers and families of adoptees, adoptees themselves and their progeny, adoption is profoundly painful.
"...How many child relinquishments have resulted from something other than a conscious, voluntary decision? The answer is deeply disturbing. For by delving extensively into the matter, it is possible to compile a sustantial body of evidence identifying the troubling influence traditionally exerted upon child relinquishments by such forces as punishment, coercion, shamings, biased counseling, legal disenfranchisement of parents from their offspring, and numerous other forms of manipulations and pressure. As the available data is assembled, one very unpleasant conclusion eventually stands out: that the reigning myth of American adoption has been that of the voluntary relinquishment of children by their [natural] parents for placement in new families."
INFORMATION
Adoption is sometimes necessary, but has also now become an industry of child trafficking. Read about my experience.
IVF & ADOPTION? (FROM MY CUSTODY TRIAL)
Social Worker: I have done a few adoptions for women with hyperemesis, but never for IVF or IVF and hyperemesis.
No Duress?
The call says it all!
ALWAYS A HERO? Once in the possession of "adoptive parents" it will be assumed a child is safe and no one checks up. Athough completely unrelated to the child they purchase (or otherwise acquire),"adoptive parents" have a reputation as being "loving couples" and "angels".To question this belief is considered some sort of blasphemy,as if the man-made construct of adoption itself were a god. [SOURCE]
