I was seeking something that all mothers are entitled to:
privacy, safety, and happiness.
Tyler and Holly and I had had very little time together during the preceding year and a half. Simply, they needed more time with their mother, time to play, time to be held, and time to be loved. It is what every child wants and deserves.
Tyler and Holly had a playroom in our apartment in North Carolina. I maintained this second  residence just for our weekend visits together. I placed a gate at the doorway. If I stepped out of their playroom to go to the kitchen to fill their bottles or to get fresh diapers, they would stand at the gate and cry for me.
Just
48 hours every third weekend was not enough time for the healthy development of my  precious twins. Tyler was very thin and very anxious. He needed the security of being with his mother. He always slept with me. He craved to be held and cuddled.
From the day he was born, he loved to be cuddled and we nicknamed him “cuddle muffin”. He was a good, sweet, wonderful baby, and my first born.
Holly Ann, the tiny baby, only 4 lbs and 14 oz., was so fussy as a baby. Little Holly was so thin. Her legs were so skinny. Even preemie diapers were big on her. We called her “fussy budget” when she was a tiny baby but later we called her our little pixie girl. Holly loves to laugh and play. She loves attention and is my beautiful daughter.
 She was fussy because she had acid reflux, so common with hyperemesis babies. Her formula caused a lot of discomfortearly on, so we switched to a special Enfamil formula for babies with reflux. The doctor also prescribed Zantac to help her.
I knew how uncomfortable reflux was after my difficult pregnancy. Carrying twins resulted in severe acid reflux. So much so that I had to sleep in a recliner the last 4 weeks of the pregnancy.
In September 2006, I rented the apartment, feeling hopeful that I would win the appeal and that  my family would be reunited. I wanted this nightmare over. I prayed for the judges to act quickly. I moved the children’s cribs, bedding, toys, high chair, stroller, and clothing from their home in Orlando, Florida to North Carolina.
 In October 2006, I was notified that my children was ill. I wanted to be with my children no matter what and was fully able to care for a sick child. I was told to watch them closely. That evening, they both seemed feverish and uncomfortable, so I took the children to the doctor and she confirmed that they were sick. The chart erroneously said it was a well-child check-up. Holly had a double ear infection and Tyler had water on his left ear, which was very painful for him.
However, I was very surprised and distressed to learn thatTyler was only 11th percentile on the growth charts for weight. Holly was only 36th percentile for weight. Also, the children were missing developmental milestones. They should have been speaking 4 to 6 words but didn’t have any words. I was very concerned, very upset and very frightened.
The next visit was November 10th, I flew to NC and waited and waited for the Needhams to bring my children to me. They did not show. It was a court ordered visit. They did not show and they did not answer their phones.
I was terrified that I would never
see my children again.
The Needhams filed another motion to terminate my visits. I was stunned. This was clearly retribution for taking my twins to the doctor. The twins were sick. They needed medical attention. However, I was being punished for this and they asked the court to make it clear that I could make no decisions about my children's health care. At a cost of nearly $10,000, I filed a counter motion.
My attorney told me that the next visit, December 1st, would take place but that she did not yet have a written court order and a makeup visit had not been ordered.
I had gone six weeks without seeing my children and it was clear that the Needhams were determined that I would never see my children again. In desperation, I hired a North Carolina attorney, Lynn Lupton, to help enforce visitation. I explained to her that I wanted my makeup visit. It was so important to me and my children.
During a status call with my appeals attorney, she said that “the judges just might leave
the children with the Needhams, since they have been there so long.”
Terror struck my heart.
How could this be? I had invested my life’s savings into the legal process – nearly $400,000 and attended every court date. I did everything expected of me. I obeyed the court ordered visitation, no matter how meager it was. I spent hours preparing documentation, meeting with my attorneys, traveling to depositions and to trial, reviewing documentation, and then received nothing in return.
After all the evidence and testimony proving that I was very ill, recovering from hyperemesis  gravidarum, post partum depression, the demands of a twin pregnancy, and that I was under extreme duress and that many acts of fraud were committed, the result would depend on who had more time with Tyler and Holly? How could I possibly win? The courts would not allow me equal or greater time with my own children, yet the one having the most time with my children would win the case and custody?
Further, the Needhams were suing me for their legal bills from the trial which totaled over $200,000, little if any has been paid to date by them.
It was clear to me that the trial court, and perhaps the appeals court, was extremely biased in favor of Michael Shorstein, the Needham’s adoption attorney. Mr. Shorstein and the judge had known each other for many years.
If Mr. Shorstein and the Needhams had lost the trial, Mr. Shorstein would
face
serious sanctions and might lose his entire practice.
I am convinced
that the decision of the trial court was predetermined
and
designed to protect Mr. Shorstein.
I did not know if the appeals court would follow suit but I feared that they would since I was sure there were connections between the circuit court judges and appellate judges. I was frightened and panicked beyond words. My babies were 17 months old. They were toddlers and still they were not home. The needed their mother and I needed them.
This unnecessary ordeal was cruel, unjust, and inhumane.
It was absolutely horrifying.
I had learned more and more about the emotional and psychological harm done to children who are separated from their mothers. My children were failing to thrive and missing developmental milestones. I needed safety and privacy and time with my twins. I needed to be out from under the extreme burden of litigation that went on and on for months, for years, without positive result.
Canada seemed like a civilized place where families and mothers were valued. I had traveled there years before and the people seemed kind and caring.
The Needhams denied me my makeup visit. Their cruelty and selfishness was clear. They wanted my children as if they were a piece of property. They had no regard for me or for the mother-child relationship.
I felt a mother’s instinct to protect her young, her precious babies.
I felt strangled and defeated by the court system.
The court did not care about what was best for my children.
They ignored an affidavit by a well respected child psychologist who stated that the children needed more time with their mother.
The motions and briefs filed by the other side showed no concern for the welfare of Tyler and Holly. They were only concerned with the profits generated by these needless and cruel “adoptions”.
It is child trafficking masquerading as adoption.
So we went seeking safety and privacy. I wanted more than anything to have a normal Christmas with my sweet, sweet toddlers.
We stayed at a lovely bed and breakfast in Kingston, Ontario. Our room was blue and yellow. It  was just perfect. Blue was Tyler’s color and yellow was Holly’s color. The proprietors, Mary Jo and Mark, were wonderful to us. This was the first time I was with Tyler and Holly for more than 48 hours in over a year. We were a family.
 Mark made delicious mini muffins with coconut and fruit. Tyler loved those muffins. Every morning he would look for them and reach for them. It seemed that he could not eat enough of those muffins. Mark had a wind up Santa drinking Coca Cola on a sled. It played a Christmas tune. Holly, who especially loves music, was delighted with this toy.
The twins had a bottle of milk each morning. Mary Jo would make us all scrambled eggs and toast and the three of us would feed Tyler and Holly. The twins loved those wonderful mornings in Kingston.
I didn’t have my high chair with me, so I put Tyler and Holly in the double stroller for meals. They loved their stroller. I sometimes rocked them in the stroller to calm them, and they often fell asleep.
 Mark and Mary Jo had two cats and the twins loved these cats. They would squeal with delight when the cats came into the room. Then they would take off to chase the cats. They’d go in different directions and being just toddlers they could scoot into small places like under the Christmas tree. It was hard for me to keep up, but I did.
On Christmas Eve, Mark and Mary Jo had some company. I introduced the twins to their friends. Holly, the musical performer, did a little dance and showed off. She loved the attention and was  so very happy. We were all so happy to be together. Holly Ann is my sweet and precious daughter.
We would walk all day long sometimes.
He laughed and laughed thinking he could out run us. His sensitive and playful nature is so endearing and special to me. We all had such fun. It was a wonderful, wonderful time.
One day for lunch we went to the Red Lobster, and met a charming and warm woman who was our waitress. She had four children and was so kind to us. She took a special interest in Tyler and Holly and we talked about what it is like to be a Mom.
Most days we bundled up and walked and walked for miles. The twins loved to be in the stroller seeing the sights and being in the fresh air. They loved the movement of the stroller and the sky and the open spaces. I had beautiful winter coats for them and matching hats.
They are my beautiful and precious children.
They are the love of my life and my joy.
My children are my dream come true.
We are a family created by God.
After a few days in Kingston, we left for the capital of Ontario. Our plan was to live as a family for a few months until the appeal in Florida was won. If time with the children was to be a deciding factor in the court’s decision, I needed time with my family to bring some equity to the situation.
 I was prepared to apply for political asylum and to request protection and refuge from the legal system in Florida. My family needed safety and sanctuary. We were being persecuted and those forces fully intended to destroy us. My children had a right to be with their mother and I had a right to be with them. I endured a twin pregnancy and a serious pregnancy disease. We only survived because at 30 weeks pregnant I was given intravenous nutrition and hydration.
We suffered and survived together. We were a family and
it was our God-given and constitutional right to be together.
No man, judge, or government should ever
separate a fit and loving mother from her children.
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