If you had asked me three years ago if I believed in the integrity of our country's values and the fundamental fairness of the courts, I would have said yes. Little did I know that I would be taking a walk on the dark side. Here are some links that helped me along the way.

HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM
THE HER FOUNDATION : Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a life-threatening pregnancy disorder that took me from being a physically fit, healthy professional to a totally debilitated and helpless mother-to-be. The impact on your mind and body is indescribable. Read more so you can help a mother with HG survive and have a healthy baby.

"Women with HG have a much higher risk of death, premature delivery, still birth or loss,
and long term health issues in both mother and child." HER Foundation

SLIDES FROM DR. PHIL

POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION
POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION: Postpartum depression (PPD) is common after pregnancy and nearly always responds to treatment and supportive help. Most health professionals do not diagnose PPD before six weeks postpartum, and women with PPD usually do not know what is wrong. If not treated, a mother may experience postpartum psychosis. Incidentially, the rate of PPD is much higher in women who had HG because their bodies are so depleted and exhausted. They may also be more sensitive to hormonal changes.

Unfortunately, as I found out, even if you have a dozen, well-known risk factors for PPD, it is very unlikely that your health professional routinely screens women for PPD. Failure to recognize and treat PPD is a major medical issue.

'An estimated 1 out of every 6 women experiences troubling depression or anxiety after the birth or adoption of a child. This is referred to as postpartum depression and can be a tremendously stressful time for the family.

We believe that there are many factors in a difficult post partum adjustment or depression - sleep deprivation, financial stress, grief over an unexpectedly difficult birth, a traumatic family history and the high expectations of the mother and the society she lives in, being among some of them. [MORE]

THE PLIGHT OF VULNERABLE NEW MOTHERS
OPEN ADOPTION : When new mothers give birth, they go through immense changes and are legally protected by privacy statutes in many states. However, these laws are often ignored.

As a mother takes on motherhood, she often feels overwhelmed and incompetent. Women without a supportive partner may be lured into the idea of an open adoption by a medical professional or social worker they are hoping will direct them to resources to help them through the very difficult, early months.




Instead, they suggest allowing someone 'more capable" with more resources care for your child so you can rest. Sure, getting help sounds great, but then the haze of sleep deprivation lifts and you realize you are not co-parenting, your child is gone forever. The resulting grief overcomes women, sometimes resulting in suicide or no future pregnancies.

"Open adoption, the revolutionary practice of allowing and even encouraging full contact between adoptive families and birthfamilies, has been embraced by the adoption industry as a tool of unparalleled seduction to potential birthmothers. Adoption facilitators have found that a mother is more inclined to proceed with an adoption plan that includes ongoing contact with her child because the prospect of never seeing her child again is unbearable. Too often, openness is the carrot that entices a mother to relinquish, and only after the adoption is finalized, does she learn that the adoptive parents did not intend to maintain the open agreement, which is not enforceable by law. Once the adoption is finalized and the adopters have the baby, they are free to have their telephones unlisted, change their addresses, changes their names, move out of state, and sever contact. Birthmothers are left without legal recourse." (MORE)

According to Exiled Mothers, Open Adoption is a myth in most cases, used in order to convince women to surrender their children so agencies can make money and adopters can obtain children. Once you relinquish, you have NO LEGAL RIGHT in ANY STATE OR PROVINCE to see your child. If you upset the adoptive parents, or if they NEVER INTENDED for the adoption to be open in the first place, then you are out of luck!!! Adoptive parents hold all the parental rights. You will legally have no more right to see your child than any other stranger would. Even mediation and courts cannot help if they decide to move to another state.

It is in the best interests of the future well-being of a child that parents of child remain
unaware of the identity of the adoptive parents. 1953 Comp. §§ 22-2-5, 22-2-6.

The office of the requirement of consent of parents for adoption of their child is to indicate the
willingness of the parents that the natural relationship of parent and child be swept
away and that a new one be created in its stead. 1953 Comp. §§ 22-2-5, 22-2-6.

Contact with birth family members and past caregivers can ease the transition to adoption. By promoting contact with important figures from children’s past, adoptive parents can show respect for their children.



Showing respect for a child’s birth family (and, by extension, the child) is important. When children feel respected and know that their adoptive parents are not trying to sever ties to their past, they are better able to open up about their experiences, and start healing old wounds. [MORE]

Post-adoption contact can help birth family members accept and support the adoption. In her study of parents who lost children to adoption, Elsbeth Neil found that birth parents, burdened with feelings of shame and guilt, often required a great deal of emotional support. However, when adoptive parents initiated contact, indicated that the birth parents had value, and empathetically met with them face-to-face, adoption acceptance among birth parents rose substantially. As a result, they were able to be much more positive forces in their children’s lives. [Elsbeth Neil, “Coming to Terms with the Loss of a Child: The Feelings of Birth Parents and Grandparents about Adoption and Post-Adoption Contact,” Adoption Quarterly 10, no. 1 (2006): 1–23.]

MORE on open adoptions >>>

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